Let's have our first talk about dealing with Fibromyalgia, there is a story that goes along with this.To describe it to those of you who don't know what it is. Well it's a pain. I mean literally a pain or pains. Pins and needles, sometimes even stabbing pains. You will have them for no reason whatsoever. Could be walking along then bam the "Fibro Goblin", as mom my calls it, just comes up and feels like he's done stabbed you. There honestly is so many symptoms for this disorder. Everyone experiences it differently. Mostly tho it's the dang pain that gets you. Mine usually sets in my legs and my feet. So waking up in the morning is slow. I have jumped out of bed and fallen flat on the ground cause the pain was that bad.I have weakness in my right arm and what Tim calls the "Dropsies." There are days it is so bad, and sleep won't come. That all one can do is cry and wish for it to go away.
Okay so let's get onto the story for the day.
I woke up not in as much pain as usual, but it was still there. I mean it is always there. We get ourselves ready, Tim faster than I. Was a slow morning. He went out started working on things in the yard and seeing if the chickens needed anything. I got the kids started on sorting their toys and what not. Kids have too many toys. Ridiculous. I go out to help him. He has already gotten most of it done. Which here comes the tears. Because of the pain and the not being able to push myself like I wish I could. I didn't get out in time to help him. Also I didn't fall asleep until 4a.m., which is another Fibro symptom. So here I am already feeling crappy. Well today is the day to mow the lawn. With our yard Tim takes one side I take the smaller. He uses the riding mower on the big side. I use the push mower on the smaller side. Which shouldn't be a big deal. Until I get to going. So far so good. Just the little pain that I woke up with. So I make a few more passes with it. That's when the pain worsens. I can feel it spreading through my hands up my right arm. My feet start hurting so bad I want to sit down and not move anymore, my legs start to follow. I pushed myself through a few more passes. This time I am a third of the way done with my side of the yard. I stop go grab a drink, take my allergy meds, sit for a minute. Bad idea, but sometimes you need to. I should of listened to my body at this point. But anyone who knows me, this wasn't an option. This wasn't going to slow me down. I suffer from many things. I get so tired of fighting it all. I just usually push even harder.
Anyway, I go back to mowing. The pain continues to get worse as I keep going. By the time I was done, all I wanted to do was fall over, cry and just not be able to feel anything. Some days being numb would be better than the mass amounts of pain that torture our lives. We got done with all our mowing, came inside, cleaned all the dang grass out of everywhere. Layed down for a bit. I was also about to crash from almost a weeks worth of barely any sleep. Raven snuggled up to me. We passed out. It's what I needed after pushing my body so hard. Yes I woke up with pain again. But giving my body, mind, and soul a break helps sometimes. I was on the brink of more tears with how bad the pain had gotten.
Now some of you are asking. Well why didn't you take something to help with the pain? Believe me if I could I would. Nothing helps at this point. They have put me on meds, antidepressents, stuff meant for Fibro. Nothing helps. I have tried to use Ibuprofen. Again it helps with everyday aches and pains, but not the Fibro. Those of you that do suffer from Fibro you aren't alone. You may feel tired, hurting, defeated. But you have an entire community behind you. You just have to reach out and look. Feel free to message me as well. I am no expert. But I will gladly be that person you need to talk to so you aren't alone. We all need someone sometimes.
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